ZomBlog

My first binge

2008-05-01T20:51:00.000-07:00

Wow, what a crazy week. Guess I kind of lost it. Been to a bar every night so far this week picking up women. I guess I hadn't checked in with Jan, so she decided to stop by. When she found me I was kind of mess. I, as well as my entire apartment was covered in blood. I fucked up pretty good this time. Didn't realize I could lose control of things that quickly. At first it was just one girl, I was cautious not to be obvious. That didn't last long. I don't remember much, but apparently I've been running around covered in blood. Things like that don't go unnoticed. Think I'm in some deep shit. Caught the attention of something called Z.P.A. Don't know all that much about them, but, apprently a zombie on a killing spree really pisses them off.

Well, Jan is here now and she says she's going to help me out. Lets see how I dig myself out of this hole.

Party on Saturday

2008-04-27T15:47:00.000-07:00

Easy target...all of them. Saturday night is the perfect night to find some easy victims. Started at 8, and knocked out 3 of them before going home at 2.
This is only getting better. I don't know why these Zombie's Anonymous losers even bother going to meetings, why fight it. This is the best I've felt in years.

Jill

2008-04-26T14:35:00.000-07:00

Getting a job is not as easy as I had hoped. So, after a full day of interviews and rejections, I did what anyone would. I hit the bar. I guess alcohol does remove all your inhibitions.

This is the first time I've done it and remembered. But, it doesn't freak me out like I thought it would. Her name was Jill. She hit on me at the bar, so I figured she'd make an easy target. From the second she started talking to me I was planning it out in my head. Get her to leave with you. Take her somewhere no one will see you. A simple plan, but it worked.

I'll never forget the way it felt, the way she tasted. Her hot blood dripping from my mouth. What a rush.

On the hunt

2008-04-23T20:04:00.000-07:00

Not for brains....even though that does sound good right now. I need a new job.

Me and my boss go way back. I'd thought he'd understand. I tried to explain to him the situation, its not that I wanted to leave the other day, I had to. He wanted a reason, and as soon as the word "zombie" came out of my mouth I was fired.

Aren't there any laws that say you can't fire someone for being a zombie? It doesn't seem fair.

The craving

2008-04-21T20:59:00.000-07:00

I definitely didn't see this coming. Just another awesome day at work, the usual office politics. And for some reason, I got pissed at Jennifer, and then it hit me. It was like nothing I have ever experienced before. It felt like I was going to explode. Everything around me, the floors, the walls, were shaking.

It was a craving, and it was worse than I ever expected it to be. I had to get out of there. I met up with Jan and she helped me calm down.

This is going to be a fun one to explain to the boss.

The seder

2008-04-20T22:51:00.000-07:00

O man, what a weekend. I was at my parent's place all weekend for passover. Just as I expected, I got hell from my mom for not calling her, just to let her know I was alright. But that wasn't the fun part. Next came, "what happened to your arm?' And of coarse, mom, the nurse, wants to see. I gave her some BS about the doctor not wanting me to take it off. I couldn't bring myself to tell them the truth, much less show her the teeth marks in my arm.

I mean, what's mom and dad going to think when they find out "their baby" is a zombie. I mean, my brother and sister will probably think its cool, maybe I'll tell them first. Its just...I don't know how to explain it...

All lies

2008-04-19T15:20:00.000-07:00

Another reason why Wikipedia sucks.
Zombie

Guh...Hollywood

2008-04-19T14:00:00.000-07:00

You know, you always hear about people being annoyed with stereotypes in Hollywood. Until recently, I never really understood that. Whats the big deal?

That was until I decided to watch Night of the Living Dead. Considered a zombie classic. This movie was totally freaking ridiculous. This along with so many other films of its kind give everyone negative opinions of zombies. This is why I can't tell anyone what's wrong with me. It makes everything think that zombies are these "godless," mindless, creatures who will kill anyone and everyone. I mean, why don't filmmakers open a fucking book once and a while and create a movie that actually makes sense.

Another meeting

2008-04-16T23:08:00.000-07:00

Just got back from my second Z.A. meeting. Its still kind of weird, I haven't really shared all that much. But it is good to be around people when I don't have to worry that they will find out. That's all I've been thinking about at work lately. Do they have any idea? Whats going to happen if they find out?

The meetings are pretty simple, if you want to talk, you introduce yourself, "Hi. My name is ____. And I'm a Zombie. Its been ____ days since I've eaten human brains." Simple. Right? I though so.

This time I got a sponsor. Her name is Jan. Seems pretty cool, and pretty freaking hot too. Basically, anytime I have a blackout, anytime I try to chew someone's arm off, I give her a call. We meet for coffee, talk it over, and all goes back to normal. I just hope its as easy as it sounds. I haven't stated to get any cravings yet, but from some of the stories at the meeting, they aren't easy to control. Maybe its better I blackout, at least that way I don't actually know what I've done wrong.

The Parents

2008-04-15T22:15:00.000-07:00

The shit has hit the fan. Yes, yes, I'm a zombie. This is far worse than that. Apparently Sarah got worried when I ditched her this weekend and she called my parents. How the hell am I going to explain this to my mother. I already have 5 new messages, I'm sure all pertaining to how worried she is. I haven't called her back yet, I don't know what to tell them. I'm supposed to be eating with them for the seder on Saturday night. That should be fun, I'm sure I won't make it ten minutes before mom asks where I've been lately. Then comes the lecture of how its unfair to let them worry like that. O man, there is no way I can tell them.

Not again...

2008-04-14T21:10:00.000-07:00

I thought things were going back to normal. I was way off. Doesn't seem like things will ever go back to normal.

Came home from work on Friday night, and a short power nap turned into a 24 hour blackout. But this time, I didn't wake up at home. I was still covered in blood, but this time I woke up in a cage. Steel bars all the way to the ceiling. Camera's pointing at me from every angle. This wasn't prison, this was something else. After screaming for what felt like an hour, the doctor finally came into the room. At this point I was starting to freak out, closed spaces aren't my thing. He gave me a bottle of water and sat down and waited for me to finish it. "You feeling better?" he asked. "OK, then we can let you out."

As he guided me out of the cell, he informed me of some bad news. He confirmed my worst fears, he explained to me my condition. He explained the process and the treatment. I had a ton of questions, but he refused to answer them. He led me into a room with 20 or so people, no one stood out, just a random group, wouldn't have thought they had anything in common. "This is where you can ask your questions" he said. "One rule, nothing leaves this room, its all anonymous."

I sat down and introduced myself "Hello. My name is Daniel. And I'm a zombie."

Pete

2008-04-10T20:49:00.000-07:00

I've been out all tonight and last night looking for Pete. I posted signs all over the neighborhood, but no luck yet. I doubt he went too far. If you live around here, keep an eye out for him and let me know.

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Haven't heard from Dr. Raines at all, but I'm feeling a hell of a lot better. The whole thing is still kind of weird to think about. I told people at work I hurt my arm working on my car, couldn't come up with anything better, doubt they bought it, I don't know crap about fixing a car. Too late to change my story now.

Man, what a week. Ready for the weekend, aside from looking for Pete, I'm going to take it easy. Sarah's coming over, probably just hang out at my place, watch some movies, and drink some beer.

Another day off

2008-04-08T22:08:00.001-07:00

So maybe Dr. Raines wasn't bullshit after all. I woke up early this morning to someone knocking on my door. He sent his crew over (I didn't know doctor's had crew's). How did they know where I lived, or who I was, I didn't leave a message. They wanted me to go with them to some medical facility. The lack of details seemed somewhat sketchy, but I have to do something about my arm, and it doesn't seem like the hospital was going to be able to help me out. Anyway, I finally went with them. We drove out to the middle of nowhere, I couldn't help but think that these people were going to kill me and throw me into the river.

This doctor's office looked like a place a wounded criminal would go. But the doctor was pretty cool. He stitched and dressed my arm. For some reason I felt comfortable to tell him about the blackout. He said it was perfectly normal. What the hell is normal about that? I still don't really know what happened.

Several hours and tests later, they took me back home. Whatever else they have planned for me is going to have to wait. I can't miss work again tomorrow.

What now?

2008-04-07T19:47:00.000-07:00

Gave a call to Dr Raines. No answer, just some weird answering machine. It said I needed to calm down and someone would contact me shortly.

Sick Day

2008-04-07T16:12:00.000-07:00

Called in sick today. Decided it was time to head to the hospital and get my arm checked out, it was starting to get pretty nasty. "What seems to be the problem?" the nurse asked asked as she took my pulse. I thought about mentioning the blackout...and the blood. Just then, the nurse looked up at me with a puzzled look, it was almost like she could hear what I was thinking. "Some nut job bit my arm" I said. She left in a hurry and told me the doctor would be in soon. I could hear people talking about me outside the room and I started to get real nervous, I was covered in sweat, this was usually about the time my heart would start to race...but not this time.

A man walked in, a man, not a doctor, no lab coat on this guy. He gave me a card. "Call this number, tonight." He said. "We can't help you here."

I walked out of the hospital as if I had never been a patient, no perscriptioins, no advice, no bills, just this card:

and on the back:
Is this a freaking joke?